Persuasive Essay 2013 Winner

Drew Swanson
Grade 5
Kaneohe Elementary School

The Lemonade War by Jacqueline Davies definitely deserves the 2012 Nene Award. This book is so descriptive and detailed that I wanted to get me a glass of that lemonade! In one scene, Davies was able to cram three types of figurative language and make it sound truly amazing: two metaphors, an example of personification, and two more of onomatopoeia.

In the scene I chose, Evan was upset. Jessie, Evan’s sister, didn’t know why. Evan was in the basement. He was lying down, throwing a baseball up and down in the air, being just careful enough to not break his nose. Evan had been trying to avoid Jessie for a while, but he couldn’t keep doing that forever. Meanwhile, Evan’s mom was upstairs hauling the old, destroyed air conditioner. It was broken, and when a man from Sears came to replace it with a new one, he left the old one just lying on the floor. Mrs. Treski was now trying to move it. As for Jessie, well... Evan didn’t know because he was hiding from her. Then, Jessie opens the basement door...

Davies used an example of a metaphor when she said, “The bats in his chest were going nuts.” She meant that Evan was mad and frustrated. He was upset at Jessie because the Treskis received a letter that Jessie was officially going to skip third grade and go to fourth grade with Evan. Of course Jessie was happy and excited, but Evan thought she would embarrass him. Davies also used a metaphor in this scene when she wrote, “A thin spider web of sweat draped itself over his forehead, spreading into his hair.” She put the characteristics of a spider web into Evan’s sweat to show that he was hot and perspiring. This gave me a better vision of Evan and how he was sweaty. I even felt a little warm when I read it.

Davies wrote, “But he could feel his anger growing.” This is the example of personification. Evan’s anger was given humanlike qualities to show he was becoming more and more angry at Jessie.

Davies created the onomatopoeia: “Pop. Thwap. Pop. Thwap.” She also wrote, “He started popping his elbow to put a little more juice on the ball.” This was an amazing quote by Davies. In this scene, she added a lot of enjoyment for the reader by using onomatopoeia. I could imagine more about the sound Evan made when he threw the ball up in the air.

The Lemonade War completely deserves the 2012 Nene Award. The great words and phrases will catch you, reel you in, and keep you there until you are done with the book. So now start reading that book. And keep the lemonade mix nearby!