Mr. Snicket's Acceptance Letter:

If you are hearing this speech, it means something has gone terribly awry and that my work chronicling the woeful lives of the Baudelaire orphans has received an award. There is nothing even remotely award-worthy concerning the dreadful stories I have vowed to write, so the only rational conclusion is that the scheming of my enemies has hit an all-time peak. Clearly, the person reading this statement is part of the conspiracy. Please place all of your valuables in front of the podium or altar from which my alleged proxy is making this announcement, and return home in alphabetical order. Signed: Lemony Snicket

(Received from Harper Collins Publishers, Sarah Belanich
March 19, 2003)

 

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